The Separation

Although I was sad to have a separation I really believed that it would be a good test for our relationship. With no more snuggling or hugs we had to depend solely on talking. After our first long distance phone conversation I was sure that we were going to have to break up. While we were talking on the phone, Nick was barely making conversation, barely answering any of my questions, and there was a point where he was just banging on a piano. I hung from that conversation very disturbed. I remember thinking the next day that I was going to let him know that it was a major concern for me that we couldn’t just have a normal phone conversation and that I didn’t think we would make it through the summer. I couldn’t even wait until that evening to call him, I called in the middle of the day. Somehow or another I got through to him and he made a big change. We were able to talk on the phone every night for hours and I was able to continue to fall for him 3,000 miles away. Nick was working nights in a special lab where he had a pager. He would send little pages to my e-mail throughout the night. I used to love waking up in the morning to having 5-10 little notes from him.

Luckily our four month separation period wasn’t straight months without seeing each other. We were both able to attend Brandon & Amy’s wedding in Nauvoo. But the most important thing was my visit to Oregon. I guess there was something about that trip that really made us fall in love. I loved that Nick was the same person around his family as he was in Utah. I loved seeing him with his nieces and nephews. I think I was kind of scared that he would pretend not to know me around his family and be scared to talk to me. But he wasn’t. I loved that there were no hidden scary secrets about Nick. All of his family seemed to adore him. There was no drama between him and anyone.

Nick and I aren’t really “romantic.” We don’t have pet names for each other (even after three years of marriage). Pet names include: honey, sweetheart, angelfacelovekinspooh. We don’t do romantic things that people do in movies. But I admit…we did do something romantic in Oregon. At Lake Billy Chinook we used to sit under the stars at night and talk. Nick was the one who started bringing up questions like how many kids we want one day or where we would like to live, etc. I loved that he was being so open and talking about marriage. I think it was one of those nights that I knew I was completely in love with him. But I didn’t say so. He did mention to me one of the nights that he only wanted to say “I love you” to the person he marries.
Ironically while I was in Oregon there was a joint Priesthood/Relief Society meeting taught by the stake president and the topic was on love in marriage. Ha. I wasn’t embarrassed to have this topic with Nick but I was kind of embarrassed that his parents were sitting right there beside us. I was kind of wondering the whole time if they were watching us. Anyway, by the end of the lesson I knew that Nick and I were ready to get married. It really seemed like the whole lesson was pointed at us trying to let us know that it was time to take the next step.

That night Nick and I had just finished a movie and were talking. All of the sudden Nick looks at me and tells me that he loves me! It was so unexpected to me! Of course I said it back. Suddenly we found ourselves talking about the lesson in church and the next thing I know, we decide to get married in December. We even went ring shopping the next day before my plane left. It was a hard goodbye…even though it was only going to be three weeks before he came to SC.

Here we learn another difference between boys and girls. I went home and gathered my family and gave them one juicy detail at a time for hours leading up until the fact that we were going to get married. I had my audience crying, laughing, ohhing and ahhing. Nick sent an e-mail to his mom that said he thought that she should know that we were probably going to be getting married. Luckily she cornered him in the kitchen the next morning to find out if it was going to be over Thanksgiving or Christmas. He at least told her that much.

My decision to marry Nick was not a hard one. I think that from the time that we got back together I knew we should get married. Of course I was prayerful about my decision, but I never got a huge revelation that he was the one. It just always felt right. I do believe that Heavenly Father gave us a push to let us know that it was time through the Stake President’s lesson.